Ja(y)den D. Harper -Author Collective

One Man’s Quest to Taste the World, One McDonald’s at a Time
By Jayden D. Harper

“You can learn a lot about a country from its cheeseburger. Sometimes, more than you wanted to.”

Introduction — The Global Standard That Isn’t

McDonald’s promises consistency. A Big Mac in Boston should taste the same as one in Berlin, right?

Wrong.

What I discovered after crossing borders, dodging food poisoning, and chasing that sweet, square slice of cheese is this: every country adds its own twist — intentional or not. Some use local spices, some change the meat, some even swap out beef entirely. Some just… forget how to melt cheese.

So I created The Cheeseburger Index — a completely subjective, totally unauthorized, deeply personal ranking of McDonald’s cheeseburgers across the world. It’s not about the fries. It’s not about the Big Mac. Just the humble cheeseburger. The international baseline. The global fast-food handshake.

This book isn’t a food critic’s guide. It’s a travel log, a cultural dissection, a confessional, and a ranking. May it help you navigate uncertain menus and disappointing airports.

Early Front-Runners:

• Japan – Flavor. Precision. Joy.
• Australia – This is what the US thinks its burgers taste like.
• Sweden – The underdog with a golden crown.

Early Bottom of the Bun:

• India – It’s not beef. It’s potato. It’s chaos.
• Egypt – I bit into regret.
• Qatar – Cheese should not crunch.

Each McDonald’s cheeseburger is scored across 5 deliciously personal categories:

Category	Description
Bun Integrity	Is it fluffy, toasted, and structurally sound — or a soggy napkin in disguise?
Cheese Melt	Gooey perfection or a cold plastic crime?
Patty Personality	Flavor, texture, juiciness — is it alive or just sad?
Sauce Logic	Do the condiments make sense, or are they inventing problems?
Local Twist Factor	How well does it reflect the country’s unique flavor without losing the point?

Final Score:

Each burger gets a score out of 10, broken down by how many points it earns in each category. Here’s how they stack up:

Ranking Tiers

Tier Name	Score Range	Meaning
Cheeseburger Nirvana	9–10	Worth crossing oceans for. Divine. Transcendent.
Global Gold Standard	7–8.9	Solid, satisfying, with some national flair.
Barely Passable	5–6.9	It’s edible. You survived. Congratulations.
Caution Zone	3–4.9	Misguided interpretations of what a burger should be.
Cheeseburger Crimes Against Humanity	0–2.9	No. Just no. You deserve a refund and possibly therapy

Example:SECRET — Score: 9.5/10

• Bun Integrity: 1.9/2
• Cheese Melt: 2/2
• Patty Personality: 2/2
• Sauce Logic: 1.8/2
• Local Twist Factor: 1.8/2
  ✅ Verdict: Cheeseburger Nirvana. Art in burger form.

I didn’t go looking for meaning. I went looking for McDonald’s.
Turns out, you can learn a lot about a country by how it ruins or redeems a cheeseburger.

Stay tuned for full chapters, behind-the-scenes notes, and an interactive map of the Cheeseburger Index.

Coming soon. One bite at a time

– Den (Burger Pilgrim)